and this shall be the new portrait

"Things have changed since then", "what's happiness really?... it's in making and doing", "I only go one way, and it's literally... so forget about it", "my mind is something else, and something inside".

that's right folks... its been a month and a half... and you haven't heard a word from me on my internet.... and then i come at you with a picture of the nectarine i just ate in the shower, and some quotes from good old craig deardorff. i tell you. if i could quote that guy all day long... it'd be an ok day for sure.

and that nectarine - it was a great color red in the middle. especially when that red was all wet from my shower water and surrounded by the nectarinish orangey-peach color (isn't it strange to categorize the color of a nectarine as"orangey-peach"?) i reeeeallly wanted to wait and take a picture of the reds against those orangey-peaches - but those particular aorangey-peach colors were so delicious and i had to eat them. i did.

what makes it all the more neat is... i almost never saw those colors. i looked at that nectarine... which had been waiting for me to eat it for almost a week now, and i saw its age. i felt it skin and it was loose like that of an old woman's tricep area. i almost didn't eat it.

but then i says to myself i says... eat it.... and i did. and i saw those colors. and i was in the shower... which is where i get some of my best thoughts and best feelings of the day. and don't be gross - i am not talking best FEELINGS of the day - i mean - i feel happy - i feel safe in the shower. i once wrote a poem that went

my life is a shower
where the first things on my mind are the last things at my feet
and everything inbetween is hairy.

and maaaaan... it's truer than i could imagine.... on so many levels...
though, i think i need to write, "the NEXT things at my feet" instead of, "the LAST things at my feet". i think that makes better sense.

or at least its more true

anyways... i am back - i cant' promise that i am going to write a super lot... but i am going to write some... thats for sure.

i was happy when people such as adam hopkins, fiamma piacentini, and adam winner asked where the writings were and why they stopped. it was just gosh-darn (or gull-darn, if you rather)nice to know that people cared enough to notice that my site was not changing so much. i want it to change - i want it to change frequently. i will makae my best efforts. its easier with these writings. its harder with the actual art.  i can't force myself to make art. even if i want to make it.

for instance, this month - i was supposed to be in a show against bruce ratner's building of a stadium in my backyard. and even though i had the ideas down for what i was going to put in the show... i couldn't force myself to make the art. i wanted to... but it just didn't feel right.

and i didn't want to compromise the art, or put in old art anymore... and i know its cheap to say that because its the easy way out - but its also true.

anyway - it got me thinking. i think its ok to have ebb and flow. its ok to have some extreme goods and some extreme bads in life... as long as they are not so extreme to go beyond the abilities to cope.

i almost am happy when i stop making art... because that means in one fashion or another that i am dissatisfied... which can only mean that i will find ways to soon rectify the situation and create art again soon.

with that same mindset.... i am almost happy that George Bush has done the horrible things he's done to our country and world all at once... because the extreme scenarios of environmental negligence and greed have brought this world into a state of anger and fear, that are an important element of awarenes to get things fixed. 

if the icebergs were slowly melting... the majority of people wouldn't really notice... and they would slowly melt under the proverbial radar until people became subconsciously comfortable with the state of things

its like when you see a cousin or younger relative you haven't seen in years and your shocked how much he/she has grown.  you wouldn't be nearly as shocked at their stature if you saw them everyday and grew immune to the changes due to the slow and subtle course they took.  but since the changes occur drastically since the last time you saw your cousin... you can't not notice them.

in the same respects, the icebergs are melting at an alarming rate... enough that people are starting to notice and take action even on platforms that i didn't think would approach such as the MTV music awards where Al Gore came on and showed environmentally before and after horrific images of the icebergs. it was like taking a look at your 9 year old nephew and then him again at age 13.  The changes are bold enough that people are starting to take action.

I am not saying i like that these horrible things have happenned, i am just grateful that the progression was not so subtle as to go unnoticed and those remain unchanged.  hopeful, the detrimental state of situations such as new orleans, global warming, Bush's pro-war, pro-greed regime are horrid enough to invoke a necessary change.

enough of my rant.

here are some thoughts i recently had:

i like crossword puzzles - i am getting better at them
i want lobster - i want to eat it in butter
charlie brown is great and i can identify with him almost too well

this image is a part of a painting by odd nerdrum. i think i've spoken about him before... but maaaan do i like him. his painting content is not always my favorite, but his stylistic choices mimic old masters in a way that i only wish i could.

i recently tried to learn older techniques of angraving and etching via a program at Parsons Continuing Education. But those folks are real jerks on the phone. i mean.... real jerks. i can't tell you how many times i was transfered back and forth to offices that were supposedly open... yet apparently never answered there phone. perhaps it wasn't meant to be.

the image above is on my very own adelphi street. david abbott took it. and i liked it. it kind of reminded me of this HDR program i wanted to check out for digital photography. It's kind of like a very basic way to manipulate a digital image to create impossible lighting scenarios.  Essentially HDR means High-Density-Resolution imagery, and the photographer bracketts his shot exposing anywhere from 3-5-7-9... images of the same scene on a tripod. The program then grabs the brightest brights and the darkest darks of the over-exposed and under-exposed images and merges them together instantaneously in a way that would take a retoucher like myself hours and possibly not even able to create such an effect... anyway, this isn't the program, but its interesting.

the image above is a great image by  WORLD PICTURE NEWS photographer shown to me by Fiamma. I think she's right.. the way the photo is set up is really reminiscent of a Delacroix or a Gericault type painting. Beautifully composed i think. It is an image in Israel, is one of Palestine... quite a contrast.

This image below, is another great composed shot... I feel like Goya could've composed this shot no?...

speaking of Goya, this crucifixion of his i find amazing. possibly one of my favorite crufuxion images... and that is a tough bracket to get into... i think this is the second time i used the word "bracket" in this musing - but i don't know if its spelled brackette or bracket.

this image below is an early david hockney... i used to downplay this artist - and i don't necessarily agree with his thoughts on camera obscura and the master artists reliance on the tool... but i think his art is great nonetheless. his david-esque portraits... to his early de-kooning-esque paintings... pretty inspiring.

this particular drawing below is by karl weschke... one of my favorite twentieth century artists - a german chap who grew up in the UK. still alive i believe. i will use this particular line as inspiration for my new piece of women observing the remains of a parrott

these next two images i found funny in their striking similarities. this first involves me and a219 foot waterfall, the second involves fiamma and a 5-inch cheese string from a nacho

well - this musing wasn't the deepest - and i didn't have the most to say - but i am happy to hopefully have gotten back in the flow.

oh - as for my art - i don't know about that etching and engraving class - i will try one last time tomorrow to sign up - if not - my print making education will depend on if callie of swoon has time to show me a few things.

i think i am missing the FOOTPATHS anti-bruce-ratner exhibition, but i hopefully will have enough work for my november show at freddy's.

i am working on a woodcut with a crane and my childhood weightlifting bench and a whale.

also starting sketches for a painting with women observing the remains of a parrott.

and hopefully a few more process pieces along the lines of the new YOUR WAY RIGHT AWAY process piece of 247 national anthems played simutaneously.

anyway - thanks for reading.
for better writings - check out josh powell's or david abbott's websites - those guys do this right.

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