and this shall be the new portrait

Well it's musing time again folks. It's been a while, and I seem to always start musings off this way... Apologizing for the slowness or lack thereof. But that's actually something I want to discuss today. I'm getting older, I'm now 31 and I like to hope that my hair is still thick... but the one mirror at work has this harsh light just above yer dome when you look into the mirror and I'm not sure if its the luminescence amplified that allows me to see my scalp, or if thats the direction I'm headed... For the time being, I'm blaming the light. But regardless, I been thinking about the idea of speed versus trajectory. I am realizing in my approach to mid-age that speed is no longer important. I used to want to get things accomplished, fulfill ideas so I can move on to the next. And though that is still a leaning I have, I am realizing that what's much more important in life is the trajectory of ideas and actions as opposed to the follow thru. It's the old cliche statement about the journey being the destination... but I realize it's true. As long as you align yerself with an end goal that holds merit and does you and those around you some good, then it doesn't matter how quickly you accomplish these things. 

For the past 4 months or so I've had a personal battle with some anxiety issues. Nothing that I'm specifically anxious about... but my head has been a bit funny and I've had to adjust my approach to living in this time span. I realize that I am calmest and most at ease when I am doing nothing. When I can move at a pace that is lesurely and involves doing things that I want to do... a trajectory I am happy about. I am not expressing this as effectively as it sounded in my head the other day, but I guess what I am saying is, I am trying to make better decisions... albeit slower ones. Just like my reminder tattoo says "QUIETLY SLOWLY NOW". Those are three directives for how I'd like to live my life and while I'm still working on it... I am constantly reminded of how it's a proper plane of existence. 

More specifically, Fiamma and I are in the final stages of buying a home in Brooklyn. A loft-style place in Clinton Hill. It's a bit intimidating to talk in numbers with five 0's behind them... but it's exciting and when I slow down and think of it logically, it seems like the right thing to do. Right to own a home, invest in something that will hopefully be intermittently beneficial as well as maybe prove economically beneficial in the long run. It's the right time and right place to do something like this and we're both ready to own something tangible, to put our names in pen or concrete or what have you. Similarly, I feel pretty good about the trajectory of my work world, the type and speed of my art, and so on.

Again, I feel like I explained this a lot better to myself in my head a few days ago, but I think you get the gist here. So moving on, it's a great grey July day. One of my favorite weatherings to have a rainy,breezy day in the summer. The kind you don't mind sitting in front of a computer during. I am typing as I look out the window and it feels pretty great. Last night Craig, Adam and I enjoyed some delicious mexican food, ice cream and movie and those things were all really great. Though I wish my brother and a few other friends also lived in the area, I am grateful to have some buds whom I can have a good time that requires no effort. As for today, I am going to move as slowly as possible. I just spent the last hour or so listening to the new Giant Sand album and looking at some blogs and I can't tell if I really like or dislike blogs. In some ways, they waste a lot of time, and they show some pictures that make you envious of others' travel or food or wear or art... but moreso I think they serve as a good catalyst to get yer own head working. To remind you of a mindset or an idea that you want to attempt. Like that Godard quote states, "It's not where you take things from, it's where you take them to".  Anyways, I am going to try and continue this trajectory of an easy weekend. Maybe learning some more blues songs by the likes of my favorite Fred McDowell.

Maybe I'll draw some more for a future symolic self portrait woodcut. Then I have plans to make myself a homemade pizza since I just received a pizza stone and a pizza recipe book from Dara Imperatore as a great wedding gift. I was hoping to make that pizza while listening to some loud music and drinking some red wine. Maybe I'll end the night with a movie or some reading. Sounds right great to me.

But soon this grey July day will give way to more hot sunny days, which will evolve into August... Which is when my vacation begins. Normally its the whole month of August off... but this year we took one of those four weeks and can throw it somewhere else in the calendar year, so a four week vacation was truncated to three. But since we're busy this year and I am hopefully moving in Sept/Oct... I miiiight even turn that three week vacation into two and use the other free week to assemble my new home. So I've got 2 free weeks coming up. Normally we travel to Europe or something large, and we had grandiose plans of doing a Berlin > Norway > Sweden trip. But since I've had these anxiety attacks, and we've got 3 weddings, we're keeping this summer closer to home. We'll still go to Vermont for one of the weddings and maybe even a few days to Playa Del Carmen beach to see Enrique's new restaurant and my nephews and niece. But otherwise it's going to be a vacation where I am continuing my focus on moving slowly and happily. I have been doing some daily meditating, reading and blues music learning so I will keep that up for sure.

Welp, I'm about out of words here... not much said but thats ok.. as always, I've amassed a few images that I like and I'll share below. I suggest after reading this you go listen to TUCSON by GIANT GIANT SAND and waste some time. 

For my birthday this year I bought myself a print of Graham Roumieu (one of my favorite illustrators) It wasn't this one, but I put this banana drawing up because I spent a good amount of time looking at it trying to realize how some people can be so good at something simple. I, myself, had some trouble drawing bananas a month or two back, so I found a great respect for his seeming ease with a pen.

I just enjoyed this drawing for its use of color. Right simple but perfect

Now I don't know who did this one but I like it

Fiamma and I like these types of greyhounds a lot and I thought this picture was pretty funny

Anybody who knows me knows that I want to work on a tugboat. I like them for so many reasons. Everyday when I bike over the Manhattan bridge and look at the Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty, The Brooklyn Bridge and all of these other great iconic vistas I get to bathe my eyes in daily, I also don't forget to look down into the waters because there's inevitably a tugboat just under me pushing some barge slowly and with perfect trajectory

No real reason here, just liked it... I'm pretty sure that the drawing is of the boys parents

another dog in snow picture

this one just seemed to follow up nicely with the picture above

I guess this is a good illustration of how I aim to spend my days

as opposed to this... but sheesh they've got some beak malleability!

Add Comment