and this shall be the new portrait

this musing will be another short one again today as the days have been full of work. i plan on painting tonight after being inspired by delacroix all day. i can see his effect in van gogh and dekooning immeasurably. two nights ago i tried to paint quickly and without inhibition using chance movements as the means to expression. and while i value that method of creating as made beautiful by basquiat, dekooning, twombly, et al. i think that sometimes i need to pay more attention to the focus and precision style of painting. i need to focus on the undercoat and the direction of each stroke, and the subtleties in color, stepping back every so often to take in the work from different vantage points. both means of creating produce differing but great results, and both can be very frustrating... tonight i shall try the latter. some other thoughts of the day include the fact that i dont know how to pronounce trompe loille nor do i know how to properly spell it. i also noticed how funny it is to watch people who are obsessed with shortcuts. sometimes this obsession with shortcuts can lead to elongating the situation because they are constantly spending time figuring out how to best reduce the amount of time spent on something. i very much enjoy watching this occur. the shear juxtaposition is hilarious. i think juxtaposing in general can create some of the most poignant of dialogues. another thing i noticed is that i am a good "favor" guy. by that i mean that people constantly ask me to do favors for them and i enjoy that and i enjoy doing the favors... i think it works out for everyone usually... so long as there is an appreciation in both directions. i think this proclivity towards "favor" guy mindset started with the fact that i grew up as a younger brother. the last thing i thought of today as how much subtle meanness can effect me. i think it hurts me even more than blatent meanness... it's like stabbing someone slowly with a blunt knife as opposed to a swift sharp action. maybe thats a litle romanticized or gross... so i'll stop here. i shall go paint i think. i will write more tomorrow and explain how it went.

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