and this shall be the new portrait

it has been a while since i last wrote. i found out this morning that my sister won athlete of the year at Saint Joseph's University. That is really impressive. Shortly thereafter, I realized how ineffective i am at flossing. my fingers lose circulation after a while from the tight cord, i never seem to be able to reach the back molars or at least find their crevices in that bumpy terrain of teeth back there, and i don't seem to ever pull out any plaque. that inability to perform the simplest of physical activity juxtaposed with courtney's athlete of the year was humorous and simutaneously, momentarily depressing. i got over it though when i realized how, regardless of how long i go without Q-tipping my ears, the wax build-up is minimal if at all. at ear cleanliness i am almost super-human i think. i've also been re-realizing how much i would like to play in a blues band. sure, i don't listen to the blues that often, and i love the creative outputs the jazz situation creates as well as the music in general... but blues somehow reaches a more gutteral emotive, reactive level. people seem to appreciate it with the greatest of ease, and i much enjoy playing it. the tension and release of a good blues solo or even song is so innate and carnal it's beautiful. today i was priveleged to move some felix gonzalaez torres' artworks from our studio back into the gallery. i liked that responsibillity of being the care-taker safeman of some original artwork of a deaed artist. shortly after dropping off the artwork, i went to the gagosian gallery to look at the damien hirst exhibit that i forgot was up. that guy can really paint (i did not know his skill extended to the painterly situations). he works almost like a wayne thiebaud if wayne thiebaud was into gorey, anatomical or hospital-like situations. the canvasses were large and did not have any of the outlines that i rely so heavily on so it was very beautiful to observe. the paintings were obviously taken directly from photographs which is a little boring, and the artwork concept did not wow me... but the execution was a great thing to be floored by. my new boss figure said something funny today, out of context of course. it was, "there is now my grey death" the context would make the statement more boring, but outside of it, it is quite poetic. the forthcoming exhumist publication will have to be put on hold as i just found out it will cost me upwards of $7 - $8,000. Perhaps for now i will have to make small zine publications and be thrifty. another thought this morning was how hilarious john coltrane is. his solos are constant teases and plays on melodies. i find them, at times, very humorous. last night i worked more on the elysian fields woodcut and gave the male figure more depth. i hope to work more on it tonight. i have a whole series of ideas for woodcuts, paintings and music... i just now need to find the time and energy to go work on them.

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